Dealing with grieving a pet
It has been a while since I posted anything- even on my instagram account- and while I've missed writing, I needed to just give myself some space from it for my sake. Lockdown was trying for most of us; and those of you who were unfortunate enough to loose someone during it, whether it was from coronavirus or something else, my heart goes out to you.
If you have a pet, then you may understand when I say that they become a part of your family. Sometimes, like in my case, they are more than just a pet. They're the baby of the family. If you don't understand my mindset, then that's okay but this blog post (if you didn't get it from the title) is about loosing one of my family members.
Billy was six when he passed away on the 12th of June 2020, he was one of two dogs- the other one being two year old Harry- in our house and his other siblings were two thirteen year old cats (Jack and Tiger).
It's still odd to talk about him in the past-tense because he was such a big part of my life, and his death was so unexpected. It's been just over 4 months but it is still a fresh wound and I'm not sure it has fully clicked with me that he isn't coming back. That he won't be there next time I go home.
Earlier that week, we'd taken him to the vet after finding a lump on the back of his leg; we were almost certain it was an abscess, or maybe that was what we wanted to believe. Unfortunately, it wasn't and the vet brought him out and told us that it looked like it was a mild form of cancer. She'd taken a biopsy and told us that the results would be back on Friday the 12th of June.
We took him home but over the course of the week he deteriorated quickly, and although none of us really wanted to believe it my mum would later tell me that she felt like she was watching her dog die. The day before we lost him, he had to be taken to the vet again so they could give him an anti-sickness injection as he couldn't keep anything down.
And then on the 12th of June, before we received his biopsy results, my mum came home from work to find that he'd passed in his sleep.
The only thing I really remember from that morning was waking up to see my mum sat on the end of my bed. I asked her what was wrong and she just told me that I knew. It took a little while for it to click, maybe because I'd just woken up or maybe because I didn't want to believe that it was really happening. And then, when it finally clicked, the only thing that I could say was 'oh no' and that's when I started to sob.
The vet would later tell us that he had a very aggressive form of cancer, and that even if he hadn't passed he would've only had about 2 more months. And those last months, we would have been watching him die slowly and painfully.
For 6 wonderful years, he was everything to us. He was the baby of our family- and he knew it. Our hearts are broken, but we are so thankful for our other pets. I think that we would've struggled a lot more if it wasn't for their presence.
Part of me is glad that it was quick and he didn't suffer for long, but another part of me just wishes that I'd known what was going on. Wishes that I could've said a proper goodbye. Obviously, I wish it hadn't happened at all, he was a month off turning 7 and I feel that we didn't get enough time to spend with him.
I'm not new to experiencing the loss of a pet. When I was thirteen I lost my first dog. He was 15 and he hadn't been in the best of health for a while and eventually we had to say goodbye. That time we'd been expecting it. But even though that loss devastated me, and I still miss him to this day, Billy's death was even worse. It was unexpected and I don't think he was able to live as long as we would've liked.
I'm not writing this for sympathy. I'm writing this to express my feelings, to get it off my chest if you'd like. I'm also writing this for those of you who might've lost a pet, who might feel the same as I do. They might not be human, and I know there is a lot worse happening in the world right now and a lot of people may think that this is something insignificant in comparison and that it doesn't matter, but when it happens to you it is crushing.
I hope that you are all well and staying safe, and if I've made you feel less alone then I am so glad.
Love you all xoxo
If you have a pet, then you may understand when I say that they become a part of your family. Sometimes, like in my case, they are more than just a pet. They're the baby of the family. If you don't understand my mindset, then that's okay but this blog post (if you didn't get it from the title) is about loosing one of my family members.
Billy was six when he passed away on the 12th of June 2020, he was one of two dogs- the other one being two year old Harry- in our house and his other siblings were two thirteen year old cats (Jack and Tiger).
It's still odd to talk about him in the past-tense because he was such a big part of my life, and his death was so unexpected. It's been just over 4 months but it is still a fresh wound and I'm not sure it has fully clicked with me that he isn't coming back. That he won't be there next time I go home.
Earlier that week, we'd taken him to the vet after finding a lump on the back of his leg; we were almost certain it was an abscess, or maybe that was what we wanted to believe. Unfortunately, it wasn't and the vet brought him out and told us that it looked like it was a mild form of cancer. She'd taken a biopsy and told us that the results would be back on Friday the 12th of June.
We took him home but over the course of the week he deteriorated quickly, and although none of us really wanted to believe it my mum would later tell me that she felt like she was watching her dog die. The day before we lost him, he had to be taken to the vet again so they could give him an anti-sickness injection as he couldn't keep anything down.
And then on the 12th of June, before we received his biopsy results, my mum came home from work to find that he'd passed in his sleep.
The only thing I really remember from that morning was waking up to see my mum sat on the end of my bed. I asked her what was wrong and she just told me that I knew. It took a little while for it to click, maybe because I'd just woken up or maybe because I didn't want to believe that it was really happening. And then, when it finally clicked, the only thing that I could say was 'oh no' and that's when I started to sob.
The vet would later tell us that he had a very aggressive form of cancer, and that even if he hadn't passed he would've only had about 2 more months. And those last months, we would have been watching him die slowly and painfully.
For 6 wonderful years, he was everything to us. He was the baby of our family- and he knew it. Our hearts are broken, but we are so thankful for our other pets. I think that we would've struggled a lot more if it wasn't for their presence.
Part of me is glad that it was quick and he didn't suffer for long, but another part of me just wishes that I'd known what was going on. Wishes that I could've said a proper goodbye. Obviously, I wish it hadn't happened at all, he was a month off turning 7 and I feel that we didn't get enough time to spend with him.
I'm not new to experiencing the loss of a pet. When I was thirteen I lost my first dog. He was 15 and he hadn't been in the best of health for a while and eventually we had to say goodbye. That time we'd been expecting it. But even though that loss devastated me, and I still miss him to this day, Billy's death was even worse. It was unexpected and I don't think he was able to live as long as we would've liked.
I'm not writing this for sympathy. I'm writing this to express my feelings, to get it off my chest if you'd like. I'm also writing this for those of you who might've lost a pet, who might feel the same as I do. They might not be human, and I know there is a lot worse happening in the world right now and a lot of people may think that this is something insignificant in comparison and that it doesn't matter, but when it happens to you it is crushing.
I hope that you are all well and staying safe, and if I've made you feel less alone then I am so glad.
Love you all xoxo
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